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Saturday, 29 January 2011
Sunday, 19 September 2010
Friday, 6 August 2010
The Beard Thief
The Beard Thief
It was on the Sunday morning that the handsome library assistant first noticed there was something wrong with his beard. He frowned as he gazed into the mirror - yes it was definitely shorter than yesterday. How on earth could a beard grow shorter? Unless - he snorted at the preposterousness of the thought - someone was stealing into his bed chamber in the dead of night and snipping away at his facial hair, collecting the cuttings then disappearing into the night. He put it out of his mind for the time being, removed his hand from the front of his pyjama bottoms and continued with his morning rituals.
It was several days before he had cause to think of the matter again.
His beard had grown back to its original glory, the dark bristles standing proudly on his face like a well commanded army saluting their leader. His phone rang in his pocket, and after waiting several seconds to enjoy the vibrations, he answered it.
"Hello?"
There was silence.
"Hello? Hello? Answer me damn you!"
This time he could detect some breathing. He held the phone close, his
beard scratching against the mouthpiece.
"Ooooohhhh!" A female's voice cried out, whether in pleasure or pain he
could not tell.
The phone went dead.
That evening as he crawled into his sheets he briefly wondered if the phone call was connected to what had happened to his beard the other night, however sleep overtook him and he fell into a fitful slumber, dreaming about a woman, she was faceless but had long brown hair. He dreamt that she was standing over him, scissors in her hand, then "Shhhhh..." she soothed him...
In the morning when his bladder was finally fit to burst, the handsome man arose and walked to his bathroom. As he passed the mirror he started in shock, releasing a trickle of urine as he did so. His beard had been trimmed again!
The End...
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
Saturday, 3 July 2010
Prick Up Your Ears
'Mr Cock' by Roger Hardon
The spirit of Joe Orton lives on! Joe Orton was a very talented playwright but for librarians he might be better remembered for his guerilla artwork. In 1962 Joe was jailed for 6 months for stealing and defacing books from Islington Library.
‘Libraries might as well not exist; they’ve got endless shelves for rubbish and hardly any space for good books.’
Joe Orton, 1967.
48 years later (without knowing about Joe Orton) this artwork was created. Not only was the cover impressively altered but the whole book has been subverted turning a children's book into something quite different.
‘I used to stand in the corners after I’d smuggled the doctored books back into the library and then watch people read them.
It was very fun, very interesting.’ Joe Orton
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